Deadspin great moments in drunken hookup failure Deadspin great moments in drunken hookup failure

Deadspin great moments in drunken hookup failure

After 20 minutes of her convincing the cops that: Fish bowls full of condoms?

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Wanna know one of the easier ways to lose your commenter star, or never get one? The next day I get a call from my classmate, "You want to tell me why we are stuck in our apartment?

This past year was my freshman year at the University of Delaware. I start to cough and recoil, but she really wants me to finish her off, so she takes one hand and starts to bring it around to pull my face back in.

You're my first since the baby. As we were making out, I started to feel it. The hot tub is one of those standard issue ones you see in hotels: Folded up with most popular gay dating sites in india and all. Given the work that these ladies perform, and the hours during which it is often conducted, I have a strong preference for late afternoon appointments.

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I realize that I am drinking fast, and I feel lighter, as liquor is known to do. At this point, I am very confused and I retreat to the bathroom to clean my wounds.

I stood there zoned out in a drunken haze waiting for the signal to leave. She shows up at the appointed time, and we do the verifications, and get to talking, and negotiating what is going to go down.

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I lay out my plan. I will never know, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Either she was just as drunk as I was, or I'm very charming because we start making out for another second. Seeing that the pants fit, he went to the register quickly while the girl was looking at clothes, bought the shirt and pants. Predictably, I fall into a classic mistake and my jingling belt buckle wakes her up. You would think dealing with them would be a relatively simple affair. Kinja is in read-only mode.

Now my high self catches up to speed.

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She came back after about 5 minutes, and mumbled something about not having eaten all day, which given the size of the shit she dropped on my bed and the amount of vomit that was on my great moments in drunken hookup failure room carpet, was pretty hard to believe.

My mouth instantly filled with blood and, obviously, so did hers. Despite leaving the church while in high school, I never really got into masturbating i.

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Within 30 minutes, Jen and I were in the back bathroom messing around. Rather quickly, my sexual appetite was overcome by the intense desire to beat the living shit out of this girl in fucking Guess Who?

So a year later I'm still in town doing post grad work, and she's still going to school. The little bartender makes us a drink and invites me to play Wii. Let me add that Jen's family and my boss' family were close friends.